Life could be better

Hello everyone,

I know it’s been a long time. I’m an out of the blue person I know. Well I’m just sitting here thinking about how last year went it was a total mess. You think when you get married to someone it’ll be forever but I guess some things just not to be. And my mom was going through an issue that sent me out of it. I’m hoping to make this year very different and better. I just want a life with peace for once and no drama and no trauma. I want a year with no heartaches, no sacrifices, no endings, no worries, no distractions, no bad memories and etc. It’s just have to be the best life from this day forward. I am doing everything possible to make it the way I want it and I’m going trust God to make it better. I working on my faith this year and myself. I been my own enemy for too long and I been letting people get the better of me for too long. No longer going apologize for being me and no going change to fit in no one’s circles. Love me for me or do without me. If something not met I’m no longer forcing anything. That’s just PERIOD!

-Gina B.

Questioning myself

Hello Everyone,

I do not understand why I wake up every morning. I feel like life is in rips. I try to do things 100%,, but yet I feel like my efforts are not enough. I feel like what am I doing here. I am not really happy with myself because everything I try just not going my way in life. My job search seems like a dead-end; I can’t get no one to hire me fast enough, apparently. My marriage IDK what is going on with that. I do not have my license because I am generally scared of driving because I been in some many near wrecks. I just do not know what does life wants from me. I really do not I feel like I am going in circles. Has anyone else ever felt like no matter how hard you try it just not getting nowhere? Then so much negativity and drama around me that it is honestly making me depressed. I should be happy this is my last week of college. I suppose to be graduating next month, and yet I cannot be pleased about that either. My feelings are just sad, really. I hope I cheer up and realize life is not bad, some things are just wrong, not the moment, not forever.

-Regina

I know it’s been a while

Hello Everyone,

I know it’s been a long while before I post. Life just got in the way so I’m dealing with it. But I am going to start posting more regularly since I’m back. Nothing new has really happened, but I am thinking about moving for a better opportunity. I heard of this cool school called Full Sail University. I am thinking about going for game art since I love gaming and drawings people and animals. Maybe I will be blowing up in the future. You never know! Anyways, I’m back and thanks for following my blog! 😊😘

Signed,

Regina

#RandomThought: Thinking about Love

I have been thinking about how love has made me feel over the years. I always wonder will I have it or will it ever happen. I have ran from it so long because no one did not know how to love me or didnt know how to love themselves. I start to question do I even know what love is. I am honestly not sure have I wver experience it.

Every time I got into a relationship, I was faithful, caring, lovable, and fought to make it work. However, at the end the good girl I was never won. I just encountered continuous disappointment, broken promises, and deceit. I start to get into the habit of hurting people that I cared about. No one cared about me apparently so I said why not. No one never fought for me hard enough or tolerate the unforgivable like I did. But I knew i was wrong but no longer cared. I became an unstoppable storm of heartache.

I soon realize I don’t want to be that bitter woman that hurts other people because of my past though. I stopped and start back loving myself. I love me more than anything now. I realize I will not put another man before me ever again. No one can love you more than you could love yourself. I forgot that in my past relationships. But now I matured and gain wisdom from my past. I have found love again but I am being patient with gaining feelings now. The slower the better. 

Life Lesson

I am just learning that we see the signs in life, but the real question is why do we ignore them. I know we aren’t perfect and we aren’t Gods. However, we choose to ignore things because we either be trying to give someone or something the benefit of the doubt. But sometimes the doubts let’s us know early on we should have trusted our gut instinct. I do not know why we as people wait for the bad to happen when we could have avoided it. 

I have been that person to give the benefit of the doubt. I have seen all the negative signs, but I still give something  or someone a chance. And now im looking like for what. Why did I do that for? And guess what!…it turned out just the way I thought! Always right. From now on, if I get one bad vibe I’m am going let it go. I just don’t have time for it. I am a good person and I think I deserve good things in return.