Life could be better

Hello everyone,

I know it’s been a long time. I’m an out of the blue person I know. Well I’m just sitting here thinking about how last year went it was a total mess. You think when you get married to someone it’ll be forever but I guess some things just not to be. And my mom was going through an issue that sent me out of it. I’m hoping to make this year very different and better. I just want a life with peace for once and no drama and no trauma. I want a year with no heartaches, no sacrifices, no endings, no worries, no distractions, no bad memories and etc. It’s just have to be the best life from this day forward. I am doing everything possible to make it the way I want it and I’m going trust God to make it better. I working on my faith this year and myself. I been my own enemy for too long and I been letting people get the better of me for too long. No longer going apologize for being me and no going change to fit in no one’s circles. Love me for me or do without me. If something not met I’m no longer forcing anything. That’s just PERIOD!

-Gina B.

#RandomThought: Thinking about Love

I have been thinking about how love has made me feel over the years. I always wonder will I have it or will it ever happen. I have ran from it so long because no one did not know how to love me or didnt know how to love themselves. I start to question do I even know what love is. I am honestly not sure have I wver experience it.

Every time I got into a relationship, I was faithful, caring, lovable, and fought to make it work. However, at the end the good girl I was never won. I just encountered continuous disappointment, broken promises, and deceit. I start to get into the habit of hurting people that I cared about. No one cared about me apparently so I said why not. No one never fought for me hard enough or tolerate the unforgivable like I did. But I knew i was wrong but no longer cared. I became an unstoppable storm of heartache.

I soon realize I don’t want to be that bitter woman that hurts other people because of my past though. I stopped and start back loving myself. I love me more than anything now. I realize I will not put another man before me ever again. No one can love you more than you could love yourself. I forgot that in my past relationships. But now I matured and gain wisdom from my past. I have found love again but I am being patient with gaining feelings now. The slower the better.